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Are you completely sure you want to do this? You can win back ex husbands, girlfriends, boyfriends, wives, whatever it is you lost. All you need is to understand a few psychological phenomena. There are things you can say and things you can do, that stack the odds overwhelmingly in your favor. We need to first analyze your relationship. If your relationship together was for less than 6 months, they might not be intered in a further relationship. Let it go, and find someone else. If you had longer than 6 months together, you can win back an ex with a proper plan. Your ex does not want to be alone, believe this and trust it. Humans are pack animals, and want a mate by nature. If they have time invested with you, it is not too late. Here is one of human nature factoids. If you want to win back an ex, you have to pretend you do not want them. Here is the first step, call your ex and agree with the break up, tell them it was a good idea and for the best. Then do not go further, do not elaborate, do not explain, and whatever you do, do not tell them you want to be friends. Simply let them believe it is completely over. This next step is, make no contact for three to four weeks. No comments on MySpace, texting, email, asking their friends about them,nothing. They will miss you the most at about three weeks. This is when they are the most vulnerable. If they call you, fine, but do not make first contact for three to four weeks (maybe a couple weeks longer if you behaved badly when you first broke up). Now call them, do not mention the relationship or the break up, ask them to meet you for coffee or lunch. Keep it innocent with a 30 minute time limit. No dinner, movie, party, etc. When you meet keep it light. You need to act like it is a first date, because it is. You know how to make them laugh, do it. Since they haven't seen you, they have forgotten most of your faults and only remember the fun you had together. Use this and bring up only pleasant memories. This is important. You know your ex better than you think, pay attention to HOW they talk, notice the speed, tone and inflection they use. Do they use picture words, sound words, or feeling words? (Like I see (picture) what you're saying. I hear (sound) what you're saying. What your saying feels good (feeling).) Use these same kinds of words back to them in the same pitch, tone, and speed that they do. Pretend you are a mirror to their body language. If they cross their legs, cross yours. If they gesture with their left hand, use your right. Be somewhat subtle, not like a 6 year old and you will not get caught. When you talk, talk at the same rate they are breathing, breathe with them. Once you do this for a couple of minutes, you move and see if they do too. Touch your elbow, and see if they touch theirs. If they do, you have built enough rapport to clinch them back into your life. Take it slow and learn more about human nature, you only have three weeks to learn everything you need to know. Develop a plan and learn all the secret psychological tricks of the trade.
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