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Are most long married couples unhappy with their relationship? This question has been bothering me for some time. As a consultant of Feng Shui, I encounter several couples with less than perfect marriages. While wanting to improve their relationship with their spouse, my clients often ask if there is a secret cure or recommendation that I could give them. Therefore, I consulted a few of my married friends and took their opinion. As the group members are experienced over fifty years and was in a long marriage relation so I had to chose them. Their answer shocked me a lot. Based on experiences of both themselves and their friends, they believe that ninety percent of married couples are, in some way, dissatisfied with their relationships. Granted that the don't experience the happily ever after life we see in fairy tales,this is still rather sad - if this is really the truth. The question now to be asked is if there is a cure. Perhaps there is. In many olden societies, such as the Chinese, where arranged marriages are commonplace, it is a practice to check the horoscope The Ba Zi of the intended couple are checked for compatibility, before they are allowed to tie the knot. Does this always work? While it may increase the chances, there is still a chance it won't work. If combination of some conditions is done a happy and lasting marriage is possible as they observed with long period. Noteworthy is that people of broken marriages or relationships should take this wisdom more useful. Some of the applicable conditions are as follows. In the past, it was customary for the wife to be younger than the husband. Such as this is a custom. You should not be able to break it, because it cannot be broken. However the ancients also observed that for those with unsuccessful marriages or relationships, breaking the tradition can be a solution. To the ancient Chinese, the wife is considered older even if she is a day older than the husband. Although, for an improved outcome, a greater age difference is optimal. The other option for a more successful relationship is for the husband to be much older than the wife. To the ancient Chinese, much older means at least 8 years apart. In practice, ten or fifteen years older is perfectly permitted or wanted. It would also increase the chances if there is a big disparity in the social and economic standard between the husband and the wife. An example of this would be a couple where the husband is a degreed corporate executive, but the wife is a product of a less wealthy family, and has had little schooling herself. Is there any other way to do it? In the olden days the husband as always consider to be the breadwinner. However in this modern times, where many women out-earn their husbands, why not? This next condition only applies to the woman – at least in the old days. If she cannot be a successful first wife, it does not mean that she cannot be successful being the second or third one. Being in the position of being the other person in a man's life, can bring you long term success Being "the other man" might not, however, be such a great idea! What to do if all the above do not work? The final option is to have a spouse that is of a different race or from a different culture. Indians and Chinese from two different culture. Having one raised in China and one raised in the United States would be a good example. These are wisdoms that our forefathers have passed down to us. So, and especially, if you are relationship challenged, give it a try. You cannot possibly lose!
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Henry Fong Feng Shui Consultant More on Feng Shui
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